My father is still in the Critical Care Unit and his health is still not what it should be. Today, the doctor told my mother that he wants to do a biopsy of my dad's liver and pancreas. The doctor wants to check for cancer since my dad's condition is a bit of a mystery. We know that his weakness comes from his low sodium levels, but that doesn't explain the wheezing in his upper airway and why he's has a elevated temperature. The good news, he was sitting up in a chair today and his strength is a little better. Bad news, they are still not 100% sure what is wrong with him. I just feel so helpless and it doesn't matter whether I'm at home or in the hospital with him. Even with all my past experience working the medical field, there's nothing I can think of that could help my dad. Right now it's his fight. All I can do know is pray and hope for the best. I'm a little scared, but I've been seperating my emotions at the moment as a defense mechanism.
What helps to keep me calm is writing on my blog, studying for class, and now baking banana nut bread. The banana nut bread helps to calm my mother down and right now she needs it. She's been crying most of the afternoon, praying and hoping for the best. It's been really tough for her and the rest of the family. For the first time in a long time, my whole family prayed together tonight. I almost cried.
Work has been really supportive and great. My boss tells me to focus on my family and my job will still be there when I return. I think I'm going to work tomorrow though, because that'll keep me busy and get my mind away from worrying too much.
Well back to studying and baking that damn bread!!!
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