It's been a while since I've made an entry on here, so many events had transpired between the last entry and now. Where do I begin? Well it actually depends on who actually reads this.
First I'll discuss men the men here. The gay environment here in Guam different from what I'm used to. Everyone is either bisexual or only gay when they are drunk. It's kinda twisted don't you think?! Oh well, what can I do?
I think the twisted environment here is due to the small community, Christian beliefs, and high family profile. Or the mentally, it's ok to be gay just as long as it's behind closed doors and no one knows...aka be in the closet. It seems like I had to put the "door back on my closet" again, after I've worked so hard to find myself after I came "out" 6 years ago. Oh, I almost forgot about mentioning the "I only hook up with guys who are leaving" part. You know it's really bad here when you have to resort to stuff like that.
What pisses me off is the games that are played here, lies and bullshit. Actually, that comes with most gay men, so I don't know why I'm mad when I should be used to it. I hear so many people say that they don't like to play games or bullshit, but it seems that I see more games played by them than anyone else. It would so much easier if people were just honest with each other, but this is the real world and it doesn't go that way.
I recently met a young white boy name Brad, whom my friends have nicknamed Lindsey Lohan. He may not be the drop dead gorgeous 10 out of 10, but at least he's really honest and comfortable with me. He's not afraid to tell me how he feels and that he likes me. He's willing to show me the affection I deserve. The personality he presents to me is what makes him handsome. Why can't there be more guys like him? The problem is that I'm leaving and I like someone else. *laughs* I always seem to like the guys who don't like me back. Story of my life. Which really shouldn't bother me at this moment in time since I've only got a little over a month left here in Guam. There's NO ROMANCE ALLOWED...maybe?
Anyways, I shouldn't care all that much about crushes or flings while I'm here. My time is short and I should just focus on having as much fun as I can and if by chance some fling or a little bit romance happens then it does, but if not then I'm ok with that too. Also, if sex wtih a cute guy comes along then that would be fun too. *laughs* Abmel Gone Wild? Ha ha ha Maybe....
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