Transformer

Before I moved to Guam, I was mostly a homebody. Don't get me wrong I go out every once in a while back in Washington, but not as much as I do here. Heck, I barely even drank alcohol in the states. Here it seems I have a drink everytime I'm out...which is every weekend and sometimes during the week. Blah. I hate feeling drunk and getting hangovers the next day. It's almost the worst feeling in the world. Why do I do it? I guess just so I can lose a little bit of control. I've been too much of a control freak when it comes to myself, that I need something to help me let loose. I'm starting to feel like I'm 21 all over again.

It's a strange feeling since I worked so hard to get out of the club scene, but I started to regress back to the old me. I'm not to old to go out to the bars and clubs, but it gets really old...fast. I can finally feel it wearing on me. I might just need to take a short break from going out and being the old maid that I feel I am. I guess I'm starting to miss my Washingtonian lifestyle again. Now I understand why my friends call me Haole over here. I'm more of a coconut now, brown on the outside and white on the inside.

Also, staying home all day and doing my online classes are totally boring. I think I've seen too many episodes of Parental Control on MTV. I really need to find a job soon or I'll die of boredom. Or maybe I just need to move back to Washington. At lease I kept myself busy with school, work, and soccer.

I think my depression is starting to come back again. I was doing fine until my friend Tim called me today. I really miss him so much. He is amazing and we have such a good time together. We make each other laugh all the time. Tim if you read this it's not your fault I'm getting depressed, it just reminds me that your not here to hang out with me. *sighs* Aw, I know it's so sweet huh? Blah blah blah. I'm starting to feel like a damn yo-yo. Up one week and down the next. *laughs* Do you think I need a therapist?!

That's all folks!