It's been over 6 years since I've been back home to Guam. I left on May 2000, because I was in the Navy and got transferred to Bremerton, Washington. I haven't been back ever since. I'm excited to be going back, but sad at the same time. The reason why I'm heading back is because my father is really ill. A few days ago, he got major surgery to his intestines, because he had a major blockage. For 3 days he awaited to see a cardiologist before he could get surgery due to his heart condition. After 3 days of waiting and no cardiologist, the doctors had to no choice but to go on with the surgery, because he would have died of bodily waste poisioning. His surgery had some major risk, there was a chance of him getting a heart attack or stroke while he was under the knife. His doctors thought it was worth they risk, because either way they had to do something to save his life.
My father survived the surgery and is currently in recovery. My sister says that he's looking a little better, but his health is not back to normal. The doctors are still worried that his intestines may not work properly and he is still in risk of getting a heart attack, staff infection, or getting pneumonia.
Even with all this happening, I still have my selfish thoughts. I'm glad to be going home, but I'm sad that the reason why is that my father is sick. Another part of me is sort of mad, because I have to put school on hold while I'm in Guam. I have one more quarter left before I graduate and there might be a chance that I will not return back in time for school. I've waited so long to go back to school and finish my degree, but yet again I have to put it on hold. I feel really bad for feeling this way especially because I really love my father and I know he needs me.
It always seems like when I'm close to finishing something another dilemma presents itself which causes me to put a hold on finishing it. Call it bad luck or bad karma. I have no clue. I don't know what to think anymore. I know I feel ashame for thinking this. What can I do now?
I guess I do what I always do and see what opportunities come my way. I'll have to go with the flow. I hope the fates shine down on me and I hope my father gets better soon.
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