Well, this is a first in a long time. I'm home alone on a Friday night and tired for some reason. I did have night planned, but the person I asked out told me he'd have to get a raincheck on it since he's got an allergic reaction. Geez, 2 nights in a row. I'm starting to think he's being very polite and not want to hang out with me. Well that just sucks. I always think that as soon as potentials guys get to know me, they tire of me quickly. Am I really that eccentric or boring? I don't know. At least my friends and family tolerate me, or they could even love me.
Yes, I'm in one of those moods again. It's seriously starting to bug me. I hate being all emotional, depressed, and tired. I didn't really do much today, but my emotional levels are peaking so I get exhausted. I wish I had more meaningful or inspiring words to blog about, but this is what helps me deal. I wish I had someone here that could really understand me. I wish my friend Leira was here. She's awesome and I miss her. I wish I got to see her before she left for Arizona, because by the time she gets back to Guam I'll be in back in Washington. I really wish Dec 10th would come sooner so at least I'll already be there and this anticipation/depression of leaving would be over.
If I'm going to bitch I might as well bitch about everything else. Today I was looking at colleges to transfer to for my Bachelors degree and it was a damn pain. The original college I planned on transfering to isn't offering any of the classes I need for my degree. I'm beginning to change my mind about majoring in computers now. I'm thinking about majoring in business now. I need to make up my mind. At least back when I was going into the medical field, I knew that I wanted to be a nurse and that was my passion. Now that I have to choose another career path, I have no idea what I would be good at doing. I don't want to be an office assistant until I retire. That would be really lame. Hmm...maybe I'll go for a paralegal certification and work in law. I knew a few people who really like it. I have no clue as to what I want to do in life anymore. All I do is question everything.
Maybe someday it'll come to me. I hope that someday is soon. Heck, I guess I could even say that I hope that I meet my soulmate too. Dating sucks!!! That's all I'm going to say about that. I think my insecurities are kicking in again. Why am I like this? Damn it! Where's my guiding angel?! Or where is my guiding light?!
Ah screw it. I'm going to taking some sleeping aides and go to bed before I get all teary-eyed like this past Sunday. Ugh! I just feel so blah.
Good night, sweet dreams, and be restful.
